Recently, Fox announced they will be no longer continuing on with the Spiderman movie franchise. For a lot of the fans, the third installment justified this. The kicker here was that Fox also announced they will re-boot the franchise in 2012. A collective “huh?” was felt throughout the superhero fan base community.

I took the opportunity to ask myself who would be fitting to play the characters and who would have the vision to make this storyline different from what we have already witnessed. Ask such questions and you will get answers, some from out of left field:

Martin Scorsese’s Spiderman

We find a sixty-something Peter Parker (Robert DeNiro), a freelance photographer who retired from crime fighting a decade ago after a spinal injury nearly left him paralyzed. The murder of his lifelong friend Harry Osbourne (Harvey Keitel) reunites him with old flame Mary Jane Watson (Lorraine Bracco).

Leonardo DiCaprio plays the last good cop in a corrupt city who seeks out Parker to aid him in his battle against crime lord Eddie “Venom” Brock (Joe Pesci). Remembering the teachings of his Uncle Ben (Paul Sorvino) and Aunt May (Cathy Moriarty), Parker enlists the help of former New Avenger and Captain America (James Woods).

This cannot be made into a trilogy because like most Scorsese movies, everyone ends up dead or in the hospital. The final scene of this film finds ChrisinBoston (Mark Wahlberg) ambushing DeCaprio with a gunshot to the back of the head, killing off the entire franchise before it’s too late.

The movie is 2.5 hours but the soundtrack takes up 4 CD’s.

“Ya-taa!!”

We see Hiro crinkle up his nose, give the ol’ glasses a push up a bit and…

He stopped the slushie event from happening!!

This is really a miracle of a power if you contemplate it. To be able to go to any point in time and space by merely thinking about it… AS WELL AS the ability to have your clothes, possessions and the ability to take a friend with you just by grabbing that friend’s shoulder, simply amazing! This would be my main power of choice if offered.

So Hiro, who really built those pyramids? Anybody like you would want to know the truth about Area 51 and Wright’s Airfield, right? So what’s up with that? Roswell? Hiro, if there ever was a sci-fi dude created for television it’s you, what REALLY happened there? Also, who wouldn’t want to flash ahead to 12/22/2012 just to see?

The truth about JFK, plus the ability to witness the birth of Christ, people like Cesar, Shakespeare, Einstein, Alexander all to encounter just by thinking about them. Who really was “Jack the Ripper”?

Now, with a brain tumor all you can tell me is you needlessly saved an employee who by all means was going to jump anyway? Then, even though you knew it couldn’t be un-done, you needlessly went back to try to “save Charlie”? Didn’t they even dedicate an entire BOOK on the subject? I guess you never read that one Hiro, and it was about you.

In four seasons you have really let me down, Hiro. You have managed to make one of the ultimate powers boring as sin. I thought having it taken away would give you some appreciation for it. But, neither did the brain-tumor. It’s nice to know that whenever someone around you drops their water or spills their milk, you’ll be there to go back and handle it.

Wow! Thanks Hiro, I nearly spilled that!